Plane is here, it's 2009, where are you!?

…“if my heart stopped falling, it wouldn’t feel any less… there’s a god in you, it’s trying to capture you…”
-Plane

G2

I first came across Plane about three (four by the time of this publication) years ago and became hooked on the lyrics and the personal feel that Edgar Legzdins; the main man behind Plane and other musical endeavors such as The Collection, gave to the band. Plane is a band that is clearly influenced by post-punk acts such as Joy Division and A Public Image Limited. Their sound isn’t as “depressing” though, they’ve got some interesting melodic hooks that suggest the likes of The Feelies and The Cure. Being sort of a follower of the band, I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing Edgars before. This interview, which was done a little over two years ago, was published in my fanzine, “Me Retracto De Lo Dicho” (which translates roughly to “I Take Back what’s Been Said”).
The article featured an extensive interview with Mr. Legzdins and a review of their second album, “Hello More” This album gave a comprehensible idea of what Plane was creating in 2005. Plane’s indie-rock feel was complemented with different synthesizer sounds and computer generated drum beats. The result was a hip and fresh sound that came across as innovative and filled with hope. The Hello More release received a fair airplay in The University of Costa Rica’s radio station. Daniel Costura picked up the single “Heart & Soul” for his independent rock radio show called “Findependiente”. I even came out to the radio show a couple of times to talk about Plane, Edgars’s views on corporate media giants and pop music, and the innovative sounds of the band.
Fast forward to 2007. I was studying Journalism and Mass Communications at the University of Missouri, Columbia. Plane was in the studio recording what would be their follow up to “Hello More”, “I see love in the future”. This album undoubtedly was more rock influenced; nevertheless, it still featured a melodic influence, and the band still sounded familiar to me. I was getting involved with the University’s radio station KCOU 88.1 and even had some friends that had hosted a couple of rock shows. Edgars was kind enough to send me a promo copy of the album before it was released. I was invited by my friend Kurt to put some music on his radio show. More than delighted, I came into the DJ booth with some albums, including Plane’s “I see love in the future”
-“Check this out” –I told Kurt as “The Calling Days” started coming out of the speakers. An acoustic guitar and a voice start singing the line “Come back out of the shallows, we’ll wash it back…in your ways we don’t care if you’re hip of hypocritical…” This song, as most of the album, marked an increase in the band’s experience. The sound of the album itself departs from the electronically enhanced beats and the synthesizer’s lovely sounds (some songs still feature the classic Plane sound though). This by any means doesn’t mean that the band has lost an important part at all; they have just geared their music in another way. “I see love in the future” was well received by the critics and Plane achieved more or less the cult status they were looking for.

It’s now the end of 2008 and Plane has changed completely once again. From what I hear, Edgars has had a fallout with the other band members and is currently the only founding member of the band that’s still in the Plane boat. They’ve been signed to a record label from Philippines, which expressed interest in working with them. A newly recorded EP is in the works and Edgars has been touring his home country, Latvia with the band and his father.
The three songs that were recorded for this new EP have been released in a compilation that presents the best of Plane until now. Reminiscent of The Cure and Joy Division, Legzdin’s Plane, has been able to shift their melodically correct music to a more serious/mature tone. From the musical standpoint, I have nothing to complain, as Plane is one of those groups that keep changing in a positive way through the years. The notorious fact is that the new album or compilation isn’t presented as Plane, it’s presented as only Edgars Legzdins. Even though Legzdins wrote most of the music featured in this release, the album doesn’t expose or present the band’s name. It’s as if the album was a solo release and not a Plane release.
From the three new songs, “The Last War” is probably the best. It may sound like The Cure, containing a bit of a lamenting tone in Legzdin’s voice. With a slow beat, Last War contains several interesting arrangements and productions techniques. Without pushing the envelope or making the song too pretentious, Legzdins adds to the song with his somewhat depressing tone of voice.
“Bipolar”, the next new song is probably the poppiest song of the three. Plane adds some nice guitar arrangements that remind me somewhat of Screeching Weasel or other pop-punk bands. The drums add a little bit of a New Order feel, and the bass, follows an intrepid but a little too typical post-punk line. Overall, the song is quite complete. The guitars are covered with distortion which gives it a little bit of shoegaze sound. It’s a little bit difficult for me to understand the vocals, as they’re overshadowed by all of the instruments.
The last of the three new songs, “In Eyes” is a melodramatic song filled with many guitars and a decent dose of white noise (aka distortion). Plane does a good job with the musical arrangements but fails once more to make the listener understand the lyrics. Personally, I would’ve notched up the vocals a tad more. Alas, maybe Legzdins intention was to make the music more important than the lyrics. The song reveals Plane’s emotional side once more.
Maybe Bipolar and In Eyes were a little bit to overproduced for my taste. Some parts of these two are a little bit too redundant and do tire out the ear.
Enough of the gibberish, let’s get down to business. Let’s hear from the man himself, who probably has more reliable information than your trusted reporter.


G2: So Edgars, starting off from where I left you, in what ways (musically, emotionally, intellectually, etc) do you feel that Plane has evolved?
Yes, more reliable information indeed. It's funny you ask about evolution, I've been pondering this topic the past two years. Obviously, computers have organized the mind and created new social networks etc... but I don't think we'll soon have talking dummy robots. So our minds have to grow, change radically for evolution to take place, but you won't notice when it happens. It'll be shocking and normal at the same time. Like a weed flowering out of a sidewalk crack.
What I'm talking about has a lot to do with the way Plane has evolved. I still say, "Shake My Ground" was Plane's best album. Original members being Joel Pasia on drums, Joe London on bass, myself and Ed Anderson on guitar/vocals. Ed and I came from Forty Piece Choir, which was an amazing band, Joel came from Ruck La Rou another good band and Joe was just a friend I gave a break to. So Plane itself evolved from other bands. "Shake My Ground" hit 46 on the CMJ charts and we were off to a quick musical start. I was writing most of the words and music then. Joel lost his marbles to psychedelics and we were forced to record the next album without a drummer. So you see, "Hello, More" an album we are known more for, evolved out of destruction and a logical unconcious choice as far as where we were heading musically. We used programmed beats and Ed got more involved vocally etc... I'm not into limiting the direction of art so I just went along with what we were creating. You'll see later, how that decision led to more destruction. A label out of San Francisco, Future Farmer, picked up the album and we got more nationwide exposure. One of the songs is on Sony Playstations NHL 2K6 hockey game. That was chuckling so I went out and bought PS2 and the game. Someone stole the game so now I don't even play the system. More chaos through evolution. Ed and I were now supercharged to create a great third album and really bust loose. So we spent a year and a half creating the album, "I See Love in The Future". We spent way too long creating that album. Ed and I were split on which way the album should go. He was more into the technical programmed beat aspect of it and I wanted to get back to the roots of a natural sound. So now you hear live drums layed over programmed drums. Initially, Ed sang more lead, but I changed that on the last day of recording when Ed announced he was leaving the band. After his last vocal take was done, he told Joe and I he didn't have any time for Plane. So I asked Ed to step outside of my studio for a second and I locked the studio door on him. Eventually, I let him back in cause he had to get his gear. So, I was on my own now and reconstructed the album to my liking. Unfortunately, you can never really reconstruct anything, since Ed's footprints were all over that album. One thing I did change, was taking over lead vocal duties and resinging the songs in tune. I let Ed stay on lead for one song, "Rundowners" cause I didn't care too much for the lyrics. I think the album was cursed from the beginning with it's title, "I See Love in the Future", cause making such a statement is in direct conflict with what love is about in the first place. If you listen to the words of that song it's not about love at all but about taking over a destructive place, a destructive self, viciously. It's all quite strange and f'd up cause I unleashed my vision of the band to collaborate with Ed, we become a musical tag team, he leaves the band and leaves me with an album (created to be our huge push into the musical world) which now just bandwise doesn't make sense. It does fulfill the prophecy of "I See Love in the Future", as Ed's leaving gets me back my musical soul at the same time leaving the band in a chaotic state which predicting love in the future would do to one's soul indeed. (Corinthians 13:8..."Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail...) So, as far as that goes, you can come up with your own conclusion where I have evolved musically. It creates itself. It's your typical ego striven destruction of a band. But, I thrive through chaos and so does evolution. So there's great hope for Plane musically.

Emotionally, all my songs come from heartbreaks. I've got a lot of great ones. "The Last War" is a killer for me. It's about my last two year long relationship. One morning around Christmas she wakes up, tells my I have no future (once again the curse of the album) and tosses me to the curb. "In Eyes" was also written about her. It's about people leaving themselves, changing their personality so they can soulfully accept false truths. I got dumped this Christmas again. I was told I was too passionate, that I brought too many gifts. So, I've started writing a new song about that, it will be called, "School Day Party". Quite frankly, I'm emotionally burnt out on this topic. I need a different kind of muse to survive, I fear developing cancer over all this inner turmoil.

Intellectually? There needs to be a radical change so I don't develop cancer. I'm attracted to knitwits, bad news chics with bad news tricks and problems ya know. I've reached a shaman state where I think of something and soon enough that desire appears. It's quite strange and terrifying, needless to say, I've been attracting just bad news chics. I won't go into details, but I have many facts to support this shamanic existence. I didn't believe it was possible for you to imagine things and for them to create themselves, but after reading a little about quantum physics and other scientific facts its proven to be possible. Once I find myself in these situations, I have to destroy them so they don't come back lingering around. So you see, I'm trying to destroy the topic that I write about, emotionally its killing me. Friedrich Nietzche wrote: "that one might get a hold of the truth too soon, before man has become strong enough, hard enough, artist enough" to handle it. Nietzsche proposed that the "seeker after knowledge," the "opposite-man," was "secretly lured and pushed forward by his cruelty, by those dangerous thrills of cruelty turned against oneself." The insistence on truth was "a violation, a desire to hurt the basic will of the spirit which unceasingly strives for the apparent and superficial."

Intellectually, I'm tossing superficial people out of my life.

G2: How has it been working with the new members of PLANE?
I love working with them as musicians. I couldn't be happier with the 3 new songs we came up with for the EP Side A/Side B. It's the way Plane should sound. Ryan Weston - keys, myself - guitar, vocals, Ryan Aylward - bass, Joe Schro - drums. Aylward and Schro also play for a band called Camera. You should check ‘em out.

As people, it's been more difficult. I get too passionate and intense about stuff and it rubs them the wrong way. I kicked the rhythm section off the stage or they kind of left on their own, cause I berated them from the audiences perspective on stage. We had to work through that. I just wanted to end the show and get off stage. My intent and perspective doesn't always match others' perspectives so we get into disagreements.

G2: Do they give the band a different feeling, does the band feel revived?
Yes, we are where I'd like to be. Much more organic and emotional. I'm wearing them out, so I'm not sure they feel revived. Their revival inspires mine, so I'm kind of worn out myself. Unfortunately, I'm only a product of my environment.

G2: What is expected from you guys in the future?
Oh, nothing. I'm trying to do my best, but we're only what we are through the perspectives of others. Once again quantum science proves this. Energy can be transmitted to others, however others' perspectives skew the results.

G2: I feel Plane has lost a little bit of the melodic and poppy sound. Do you feel this is so? What can you tell me of the new sound in the band?
Thank Jesus for that. What is melody? Noise in itself is sound which is melody. We now create noise and build around it.

G2: So what’s up with this new record label from the Philippines?
Peter Chan from Universal Records Philippines sent me a contract, a non-exclusive deal, for "I See Love in the Future". They've yet to release the album. He just told me, he's releasing it out there in the beginning of the New Year.

G2: Will they be releasing the band’s old catalog?
Right now they're just working, "I See Love in The Future".

G2: How has the Latvian tour been?
I toured with my father who's band Cikagas Piecisi, is an iconic group a national treasure in Latvia. I could write a book about my experiences. They're regarded as musicians that gave the country hope while Latvia was still under communistic rule. I regard them as the band that freed a country through song and hope. Music is the closest we can get to God and they're musical energy and spirituality helped keep the dreams and hopes of occupied souls alive.

G2: What’s in the near future for Plane, for you and the other member’s in the band?
I've found out that the future is a curse. You can just do what is now. I'm starting to believe a few members of the band are too superficially instinctive. In that case, they'll be let go.
In your synopsis, you state that I don't get along with others and then give them the boot. That's not the case. People in my band drop by the wayside. They have a difficulty of actualizing the truth.
As physicist Wheeler put it bluntly: "There is no space-time, there is no before, there is no after. The question what happens next is without meaning." As if anticipating Wheeler, Nietzsche also wrote: "Every power draws its ultimate consequences at every moment."

G2: Any plans for the holidays?
Yeah, I love the holidays. I like to make them special. I like to give. Mystically this year, I met this fine girl the same day a year ago my last relationship ended. We got along like a cake, burning candles and all. I sent her flowers and she loved it. She had me meet her father. She invited me over for Christmas day. I brought her presents. The next day she gave me the boot cause I was too passionate, she said. My heart was too big, she said. She stuffed all the presents in a bag and had me leave. A friend told me the wikipedia interpreted her name as the devil. So I might have spent Christmas with the devil this year.
On new years eve, I was working on a story, beat writer style. I was at a concert and decided to jump up on stage in-between bands and berate the crowd. To see what would happen. Quite ridiculous, but that's how I write my stories. You can read about it in my blogs www.myspace.com/plane. It was also part of destroying something that was creeping back in. A bad news chic was creeping back in and I had to do something foolish, ridiculous to keep her away. Like I said, I have a tendency to draw bad things in and I don't want that anymore. When the signs appear, I know I have to sabotage what's materializing so eventually I don't get burned. However, after I creatively destroy what's creating itself on it's own, I feel terribly guilty about my actions and it takes several weeks for me to apologize to the superficial souls I'm trying to avoid. In the end, I bear the guilt, embarrassment and pain. Being a shaman is a terrifying existence.

Pinchbeck says, "evolution and destruction enjoy dancing the tango together on the same razor's edge. What if the evolution of consciousness, rather than an adaptive quirk of the brain, was actually the central drama, purpose and point, of our whole show?... Inner development is an eccentric process, advancing in sudden jumps, in revelatory sparks and fizzles - each person is his or her own private universe. Strengthened by suffering and crisis.... What if this deepening of awareness takes place in the margins, in the nooks and crannies of contemporary life....Could it be, as the somnolent masses and the professional classes press forward in the old direction, seeking the same old rewards, that the new thing self-organizes out of chaos and noise, asserts itself in fragility and silence, then takes root and vitalizes until it suddenly manifests as established truth?"

Point being, as I witness signs and false truth appearing, I try to destroy my inward evolutionary process by destroying the truth before it happens. It will save me from waking up a third day Christmas year and having the one I dreamt of marrying reciting, "you have no future", breaking my being. I'm trying to stay ahead of evolution and it's destructive process.

G2: There are a couple of videos (one recorded live and another one in black & white) featured in your myspace page. Who filmed and produced these? Have they received any airplay? Is it cool to make a video?

Yeah, I love making videos. My songs are stories, autobiographies of my life and emotional state. Nothing is made up. So, it's great to express the songs conceptually through video. I wonder if music listeners ever listen to the words or just pay attention to the oh so important melody. Go to the orchestra for melody. My music is about the words and the music only expresses the emotional state of these thoughts. So, I can reach a larger audience through video.
We have a lot of videos, I wish I had one for each song. I was planning on doing that, but magically my video camera just flew into a toilet and I don't think it works anymore.

"In Eyes," is a super emotional song. It's about f'd up people, who change their personality to justify their being and rationalization of leaving others. Chorus being, "you're not leaving me, you're leaving you." I wanted to capture this emotion on video. I met a truely passionate artist in video/filmmaker Daniel Ryan (you can check his art at www.DANIELRYANVIDEO.com) and we began tossing ideas around. During the making of the song, a really super talented singer/rock star in Chicago decided to sing the female parts. I also gave her a verse to free form and come up with what she was thinking. She really opened up and made the song sick with words like, "I’m no indication of love, I can't stop leaving me, and I’ve got to be buried, bury me deep." Then I also met this guy with an amazing French voice that I wanted to include to give the song a 60's Gainesburg effect. I find people, I think not by chance, but through the theories of quantum science/energy, then the song creates itself. At first, no one takes it seriously, but after they hear my final produced version they are like, hey man pretty cool. This female artist who sang is quite a card though. After she laid down her tracks, she went through a grievous loss and reacted to the song negatively and didn't want her parts used. It was like she was leaving the song, leaving herself. Strange signs. I explained to her how the song was creating itself and how her personality and hardships perfectly matched what I was trying to express. Later, she agreed to let me use her vocals but only if I used a false name for her. So I call her Tea Moare. She's another sweetheart that's slapped me with the too intense heart joker card.
Daniel Ryan produced the video, this cat Aaron filmed it and Marika, a model, pretty much took over and made the video. I wasn't sure they understood the song so I became irritable during the shoot. After several martinis, I was excluded from its filming. Overall, budgetary wise, I think they did a great job. It's in the top 20 on Latvia's Latvian Music Channel. You can vote for it here: www.lmk.lv

Plane was also blessed by JBTV, this unbelievable cult video show hosted by Jerry Bryant. His programming gets syndicated nationwide. He had us perform live on his show, which was a great honor. That's where the other video on our myspace page came from (www.myspace.com/plane).

G2: What can the 2005 Edgars Legzdins say to the present Edgars Legzdins?
You ain't learned shit kid.

G2: What is your current view on commercial music? Do you feel or want that Plane needs to venture into this field?
I hear a lot of good riffs and tunes on commercials. I think commercials have the best music now. Much better than what's on the radio.

G2: In terms of exposure, does Plane want to maintain an underground status or hit the spotlight?
I have nothing to do with either

G2: Any new side projects in the making?
I’m going to revive some "Collection" songs that haven't been released
I also might release a solo album, with just an acoustic guitar
I’m thinking of doing a Christmas album with my dad
I’m writing a book
I’m pursuing a modeling career after my 2007. Dec issue of Playboy modeling debut p. 87
(My picture characterizes a deaf mute serial killer in a Stephen King short novel)

G2: Is your recording studio still open for business?
Yeah, but it's pretty private. i only record bands I like. Bands ask me to do stuff and I’ll help produce and arrange songs, even play on them. I’m not in it for the cash.

G2: So what’s up with this cold weather everywhere!? What’s your position on global warming?
The world will end before we get to that point.

G2: On the personal side, is Edgars Legzdins thinking about settling down sometime soon?
Sure, peace is where it's at. life is not a struggle. The last three girls I’ve cared for told me 1. I have no future 2. I’m too intense and weird
3. I’m too passionate.
So, I’ll have to change my name and personality to be able to settle down with anyone anytime soon.

G2: Will there be a Plane album soon? In the upcoming year?
We’re in the studio just recording now. we have a bunch of demos and are sorting through the good stuff. There’s no point in albums anymore due to mp3's and the digital revolution. we'll release one song at a time.

G2: Any plans on starting a North American tour or a South American tour sometime soon?
No, the last time I was on stage our rhythm section walked off the stage. i won't put up with ineptness. But I’ve always thought ineptness is where punk rock is at. So yeah, we'll be doing shows real soon.

G2: List your current favorite bands.
Sybris, ‘cause they beat me up after their last show.

G2: Have you been listening to independent music lately?
No, I’ve been going through my new wave collection to see which records i can sell.

G2: Have your writing influences changed in any way since “I See Love In The Future”?
No, I keep meeting horrible women. Unfortunately, they are my muses and serve as my writing material.

G2: Where did you record your new EP? Are these the best songs you guys have right now?
They could be better, but I’m not spending years recording songs anymore. "Last War" was recorded by Adam Yoffe at Blue Room Studio. All of our stuff is recorded at my studio.

G2: What can you tell me about your Dad’s music? Has he been an influence on you?
His music is classified as folk/country. Some of his songs are sung as hymns in Latvia. In the 60's when the communists occupied Latvia and they were trying to Russify Latvia and destroy the Latvian culture, my father's music was traded in the underground and the black market. If the communist police heard families listening to his music, the families would get severely punished, sent to Siberia etc....

My father's music stands for freedom, love, hope, Latvian nationalism, making fun of the commies. His band has been around for 50 years. They just finished tours in Ireland and Latvija. This November he received a standing ovation from a crowd of 40,000. He's a national hero in Latvia. A cult icon.

To me he represents, what you can accomplish with music. You can influence people, generate hope, fight the fight, do whatever it takes to never get old or give up.

You can Google his band: Cikagas Piecisi or go to www.cikagaspiecisi.com

G2: Is your father still active in the Latvian music scene?
Yeah, we just got back from a three week tour in Latvia. They sang in front of the President at the Latvian National Monument during Latvia's independence day, November 18th. He's always writing plays, musicals, songs etc....

G2: What does he sing about?
Love, Freedom, Drinking, His Country, Hope, Satirical Situations

G2: How was to play with him? Inspiring? Emotional?
I help out as sound engineer and stage manager. It's always inspiring to watch him play and see the audience react to his freedom songs. There's a lot of history there. It's as if the band was hand in hand with the people of Latvia, who had to endure the communist occupation, for forty years. The people and culture of Latvia, behind closed doors, trying to survive, maintain their language and culture. My father's music and lyrics inspired them, kept the fire in their hearts a live. There's countless of stories between the people of Latvia meeting my father for the first time. Once a taxi - driver recognized my father, so the driver drove my father to the cabbies home. In tears, the cab driver awarded my father, the cabbie's fallen father's war medal. He said my father had earned it, for what he had done to inspired a ravished nation. Stalin executed more people in World War 2 than Hitler did. Few people know that.

G2: For what I can hear it sounds quite folkish, is the music of his typical Latvian music?
No, it's not typical. It's very original as far as Latvian music goes. More accoustic/ballad driven. The lyrics are very special to the country of Latvia.

Nuevo año, viva el nuevo cambio.

Feliz año muchachos,

Debido a varios problemas no estuve escribiendo en este blog por varios meses pero esto cambiara pronto. Tengo muchísimos poemas escritos en papeles y en cuadernos y pronto estará poniéndolos para que ustedes puedan leerlos. Pronto pondré una entrevista aquí para que puedan leerla. Entreviste a mi amigo Edgars Legzdins del grupo de Chicago Plane. ¡En las próximas horas o días estaré poniéndola aquí así que espero que estén atentos!

Me despido con un saludo cordial de mi parte,

G2

Geronimo!! Geronimo!!

Peguenle un visitín a la página de MYSPACE de Geronimo Records. Nueva música y nuevas bellezas. Disfrutenlo aquí:

wwww.myspace.com/geronimorecords

Nuevo Correo!!

Muchachos,

He cambiado la dirección de correo. Era para hacerles saber!

Oh no!!

A continuación les presento el video de presentación de la nueva edición de MRDLD!! Muy pronto disponible en tiendas y en conciertos!! Mas información vendrá luego!! Espero que disfruten el video!

Update. Sí.

Buenas,

Estaremos tirando una nueva edición de Me Retracto, la Número 17. Va a ser la primera que saldrá en unos dos años, con artículos solamente míos. Presentara una portada y diagramación por mi gran amigo Této. Si todo sale de acorde al plan, estaremos trabajando juntos en un futuro, para darle un resurgimiento a la revista. Por otro lado, cuando tengan tiempo, péguense una visitada al myspace de Geronimo Records S.A. en www.myspace.com/geronimorecords

Estuve viendo unos cuantos cortos en la Web con mi amiga Laura. Además de leer la edición nueva vimos estos cortos a continuación:

EL COLUMPIO

Corto que trata de unos jóvenes que se encuentran en una estación de metro en España. Se oye lo que estan pensando, quieren juntarse. Esto no sucede, lo resto es historia.

DOS GUIONISTAS EN CHOLIWOOD

Un cortometraje dirigido por mi amigo Nicolas Wong, filmado todo mientras se va manejando, el dialogo se deja para interpretar y mayoritariamente para espontaneidad. Me parece un buen tema de parte de los muchachos y buena idea.

chucherías

Definitivamente uno de los cortometrajes que me han llegado más. Me gusta la idea y la actuación del señor mayor. Al ser tirado en blanco y negro, se crea un buen contraste, se le da un sentido mas antiguo y se puede ver de otra perspectiva. Buena producción, vale la pena ojearlo.

Lo que mas se escucha en mi cuarto ahora.

Estos dos grupos, de la disquera independiente, Jagjaguwar Records (la cual es la casa de los maestros, Okkervil River, los post-punkeros Wilderness, los stoner rockers Black Mountain, el inusual cantante de el grupo Half-Japanese, Jad Fair, y el minimalista Patrick Phelan entre otros...)

Parts & labor, una música inusual, de índole lo-fi, este grupo inicio con tres miembros, que jugaban con sus sintetizadores e innumerables pedales.

Besnard lakes, grupo shoegaze, el cual me recuerda un poco de Jesus & Mary Chain, en particular, su disco, Darklands. También exponen una tendencia atmosférica/shoegaze a lo Spacemen 3.

Al mencionar Spacemen 3, quiero recordarles que el cantante de este grupo, Jason Pierce y su grupo post-spacemen, Spiritualized, saco su sexto disco, Songs in A&E, en mayo de este año. Salio bajo la manga de Fontana International/Spaceman Records. Me tomare la libertad de agregar un video de el primer sencillo de este aclamado album, Set my soul on fire. Espero que disfruten esta breve seleccion musical. :D

Besnard Lakes

Parts & Labor

Spiritualized

Yo iba con sombrero.

Yo iba con sombrero.

G2

Creí que te molesto que te llamara tanto para pedir tu dirección. Que pena me dio, iba tarde, demorado, estaba perdido, sin saber por cual calle agarrar. Al pasar por vos, me dijiste que también estabas apenada… en ese momento fue cuando, al ver para afuera de la ventana, sonreí como un chiquillo de 10 años cuando ha descubierto esas mariposas en su estomago por primera vez. Estaba completamente atontado por tu olor a chicle, tus labios protuberantes y tu pelo tan desordenado. Mientras mi amigo manejaba, me pase para el asiento de atrás, para sentarme a la par tuya.

Estaba esperando conocerte más. Te vi en los pasillos de la universidad, y luego, cuando nos presentaron, me dejo sin aliento tu sonrisa. Días después me tope con vos. Llevabas puesta una camisa polo azul de scooby doo y unas zapatillas particulares. Fue en ese momento, mujer, cuando definitivamente quede enganchado.

Gaste mis monedas en una de esas maquinas que tragan dinero como si fueran un barril sin fondo. Te conseguí el peluche de la rana que tanto querías. Te invite a tomarnos una soda y un milkshake. Nuestros amigos nos llamaron, preocupados porque no sabían adonde estábamos. –“Estamos en el parqueo.” Les dije por el teléfono. Todo esto con el propósito para estar con vos a solas, aunque fuera solamente por unos minutos.

Como si fuera un cuento de hadas, te lleve temprano a casa. En el camino de vuelta jugamos con la rana, a la cual llegamos a bautizar con un nombre que no recuerdo. Hicimos promesas de volvernos a ver, mientras reposabas tu cabeza en mi hombro. Mi amigo, el cual manejaba, tomo una curva un poco cerrada y ahí fue cuando aproveche para tomarte tu mano.

Te acompañe hasta tu puerta e instintivamente me quite el sombrero y te di un beso en la mejilla. Caminando hacia el carro volví a sonreír. Ahí fue cuando realice que habían pasado años sin sentirme de esta manera y que, talvez, debajo de este cielo estrellado el decir de calidad vence a cantidad podría ser realidad.

Mi noche fue luego un sueño interrumpido, ya que pase la mayoría de la madrugada en vela, con esas mariposas en mi barriga y estos pensamientos en mi cabeza.

2.53 am

Uno nuevo....

Sumido en un Marasmo

G2

Su exótico y delgado cuerpo suele moverse de lado a lado, haciéndome sentir como si estuviera elevado en los confines más remotos del universo. Sus curvas sensuales, las cuales he deseado indagar por incontables madrugadas, parecen ser tan suaves esta noche que me dan ganas de poderlas acariciar. Esas palabras que salen de su boca salvajemente provocan una dulce vibración en mis sentidos. Su timbre de voz resulta cada día más y más difícil de llegar a olvidar. Este ha quedado impregnado en mi memoria y se vuelve imposible hacerlo despegar.

El recuerdo de su existencia me sorprende cada noche mientras duermo. Su espaciadora figura reaparece en mis secretos más recónditos. La suavidad en su trato desatemoriza hasta las mas horrorosas congojas y penurias. De pronto, cuando realizo que todo lo que he estado sintiendo resulta ser un sueño, despierto en un completo descontento. Es en este momento cuando me lleno de ganas de soñar despierto ya que… talvez… te logre encontrar entre mis pensamientos.

…aargh.

Figura pequeña, testaruda, necia. Es ella, la chiquilla con sonrisa provocadora, de piel morena, la cual me enloquece cada vez que puede. Indomable e impredecible. Esa rebeldía, determinante, la hace una de las mujeres más independiente que he conocido.

Pensamientos 23 de marzo, 2008

Estas calles están solitarias, sin un alma alrededor.

El sentimiento que me traigo adentro me hace sentir peor.

Sola se encuentra la luna, pintada en el cielo gris.

Solo me encuentro yo, en esta ciudad de miles de perdedores y soñadores

-o-

Insto a realizar el porque de esta situación.

-[]-

Realizo y me reencuentro con todo aquello que no recuerdo…

-*-

Ella

Te encuentro re-usable, maleable, poco estable.

No es que no me intereses

Es que poco me motivas.

-o-

En fin.

Sos interesante.

De vez en cuando.

Muy…de vez en cuando.

‘o’

Ella, con su pelo crespo. Su jacket. Su vestido.

Ella, con su pelo crespo. Su jacket. Su vestido.

gdos

"bar.tragos. cerveza. whisky. cigarros. musica rockabilly, folk. chiquillas. alcohol. fiesta.vacilon.

En tu cara leo soledad, tristeza, mientras que tus ojos me vuelven a ver con curiosidad. Ese cuerpo diminuto y frágil, el cual es deseado por hombres que nunca te tendrán, parece hoy desarmable, fácil de poder despedazar.

El licor, presente en nuestras venas, ha tomado el cargo de hacernos entender que todo esto debe suceder. Me miras con recelo. Yo te miro sin cautela, sin pena, sin miedo. Lo hago porque quiero.

¡Mujer! Sos la más bella de todo este bar, los hombres se te acercan y los mandas a volar. No necesitas. No necesitas.

Estas bestias que se revolotean a tu alrededor, son como magos que inventan e intentan sus trucos de cortejo ante ti. Magia estupida, sin remedio… tan presente en nuestra realidad.

Pillines! Pillines! -Fiestecilla onde xaviersh

Saludos Cordiales,

Inicio el bloggeo de este año con estos tres videos de mi grupo, Pidgines.

Estos se capturaron el doce de enero en la fiesta de cumple de Xavier morgue, por leanne.

¡Ojo que vacilon!

metallica es una mierda

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Expresión

Perdido en el oscuro de la oscuridad

G2

Es en la noche adonde puedo estar.

Soledad y miseria me suelen abrazar

“Es cierto, estas solo, siempre lo estarás”

Es en la noche adonde me puedes encontrar

Entre todas estas fiestas, mujeres e indecisiones

Es en la noche

Adonde me suelo estrellar.

Cuando amanece quiero desaparecer,

Busco en las sombras un lugar seguro

Un lugar neutral

Un lugar nuevo

Para poder florecer… una vez más

Desarmando el sentimiento

G2

Me encuentro en estas situaciones

Gracias a el producto de mis emociones

Las ideas y las acciones

Suelen perderse entre mis pensamientos.

No queda más que volver a empezar

Para ver si puedo encontrar

Las palabras perfectas que quiero expresar

Busco soluciones

En las peores situaciones

Y Encuentro las respuestas

Sin plantear las preguntas.

Aun así sigo sin comprender

Aquello tan bello

Tan puro

La complejidad de su ser.

Y puede que me tome una eternidad comprender

Que las cosas planeadas no siempre suelen suceder

Las cosas nunca serán tan bellas

Las mañanas dejaran de impactar

Porque si no esta ella a mi lado

Creo… hermano,

Me voy a desbaratar…

Usado, Idiotizado, Maltratado

Usado, Idiotizado, Maltratado

Por: G2

Después de todo lo que ha sucedido y todo lo que hemos dicho las ideas han dejado de ser frescas y la aburrición se ha convertido en el problema de los dos. No entiendo y nunca entendí la forma de actuar y de proceder del sexo opuesto. Lo único que quiero es que nos relacionen en una misma oración o por lo menos piensen en los dos cuando piensan en una persona.

No entiendo su proceso de funcionar, es tan similar al mío, tácticas que solo había creído que existían en mi cabeza. La manera de decir las cosas no ha sido la mejor… mi manera de actuar deja de ser interesante cuando cumplo todos los parámetros de una persona insegura que no tiene nada que esconder. Estoy completamente convencido que las cosas no transcurrieron como debieron de haber sucedido, la relación que estaba buscando fallo en llegar una vez mas. Tampoco es como que estoy adolorido, talvez un poco decepcionado. Más que toda esta decepción es con mí ser, mi personalidad y mi orgullo ha generado una serie de eventos estupidos incómodos para los dos.

Me duele en el alma mujer no poder estar cara a cara. Me mata, mujer, cuando no me vuelves a ver a los ojos y cuando no me diriges ninguna palabra. Estoy confundido. No tengo idea si debo continuar en la lucha o dejar atrás toda esta situación. Problemas se presentan cuando no tengo soluciones para mis propias preguntas. Estoy como un idiota esperando una señal de reconocimiento. Lentamente me convenzo que no llegara.

¿Acaso les voy a mentir? La redundancia de la situación empezó a causar malestar desde el momento en que descubrí que no me irías a amar. Talvez es por eso que estoy de esta manera, hecho mierda producto de la falta de atención. Resalto el hecho del rechazo, me encanto el hecho del rechazo. Como un perro oliendo sangre, se me hace más y más difícil poder escapar de esta situación. He olido la sangre. Quiero ir a buscar el cuerpo.

Sin embargo, esta busca se vuelve más y más insignificante al pasar los días. No entiendo ese problema que tenemos los dos, el problema de poder expresar con claridad y no con símbolos eso que queremos hacer llegar. Claro que seria increíble formar parte de una relación interesante. Seria un desmadre, bello e impulsivo, doloroso y real. Tristemente, no veo interés genuino de su parte. Siento que su manera de interactuar conmigo ha dejado de ser lo que fue. Sentada al otro lado en un sillón, ella socializa con mis amigos, rehúsa regalarme su atención. Se encierra en su cuarto con amistades. Creo que se le olvido que yo también puedo ver y oír, creo que no le intereso cuando le dije que me tenía que ir.

Rehusó a tolerar el hecho de ser masticado y usado. No seré parte de su diseño. Tampoco caeré preso de mis emociones. No me importa mucho el hecho de ser rechazado, lo que no puedo tolerar es la perdida de tiempo. La situación me recuerda al estado de inmadurez presente en todos aquellos temas de adolescencia, situación estupidas provocada por sentimientos de inseguridad. Mucho lo he pensado y mucho lo he hablado, no pienso hacerlo más. Suceda lo que suceda, la estupidez de nuestras acciones siempre permanecerá.

The Evens

ALONE

Alone

Gabriel Gurdián

“Who ever said that life would be easy? And did you think that society would be good to you? Oh and now you believe you’re special because you won a spelling bee in fourth grade? No man, you are wrong. This whole idea you have about life and death is completely fucked.” William got out of the house, slamming the door. I think our whole conversation had disturbed him in a special way. My words had apparently hit a soft spot. William, or Will, as I liked to call him, was usually an emotional pile of flesh. He was the sad product of a life full of despair and desolation. And because of that, I considered him my friend.

Now I’m not saying that because my relationship with Will was based solely on his random emotional outbursts. No. I usually got a kick in hanging out with deranged individuals. The crowd that interested me was the freaks and the ones that never seemed to fit anywhere. These are the human beings that have something to say, they have the best stories and usually are the ones that make me feel alive.

I reached for the TV control. I turned the machine on. None of the things on television made much sense to me these days. I was jaded; there wasn’t a single drop of innocence in me. All of that bullshit had been lost years ago. Santa Claus didn’t fall down the chimney. I loved to watch the infomercials. People telling other people that they need this product they’re selling. It will help to solve your simple problems, make them easier. Bullshit.

“We are living in a sneaker nation” – I said to myself. “WE ARE LIVING IN A SNEAKER NATION” - I said to myself again. Yes, I had to convince myself about this beautiful fact. It’s hard to explain, it really is. I was sick of all the “have a nice day” bullshit. People don’t care if I have a nice day. They just don’t. Mechanically, I nod back and say “thank you.”

I turned the television off and put a record on. Goodspeed you! Black Emperor. “Dead Flag Blues” came on. Apparently, the whole thing made sense to me.

The car is on fire… and there’s no driver at the wheel…

And the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides…

And a Dark Wind Blows.

A government is corrupt… And we’re all so many drones with the radio on and the curtains drawn.

We’re trapped in the belly of this horrible machine… and the machine is bleeding to death.

The sun has fallen down… and the billboards are all leering...

And the flags are all dead. At the top of their poles.

It went like this… The buildings toppled in on themselves… mothers clutching babies… picked through the rubble… and pulled out their hair.

The sky line was beautiful on fire… all twisted metal stretching upwards…

Everything washed in a thin orange haze.

I said, “Kiss me your beautiful, either troy the last days”

You grab my hand and we fell into it… like a daydream… or a fever.

The phone rang. I got up from the couch slowly. Let the motherfucker ring for at least three times. “Hello, is Bill there?” –A female voice said on the line.

“Hey lady, you’ve got the wrong number” – I said impatiently.

“Oh… I’m sorry… I didn’t know who to call… I’m desperate… Would you be so kind in giving me a few minutes of your time?” – She said… in a rather sad tone.

Now this is the part when I can just say no. I don’t usually enjoy talking to strangers… especially over the phone. The whole thing is just too impersonal, too indirect. And as you probably know already, I’m a direct person… I need to get to the point quick. There is always a minimal percentage of bullshit on my part.

This stranger seemed like a nice person and plus, she was a girl. Girls always need someone to tell their sorrows to, it’s something that they need to do, to cry their hearts out. I’m not going to lie; her voice seemed interesting over the phone. I simply told her, “What’s happening?”

After sighing, she began,

“My mom died the other day. I feel it’s my fault because I ended up neglecting her calls. Naturally, I didn’t show up for her funeral… I didn’t answer the door when my dad stopped by my place two weeks ago. My boyfriend, Tim, has developed a habit of hitting me in the mouth every time I tell him to look for a job. Everyday gets longer and my life seems to be the same. The years pass by and slowly the wrinkles are setting in.”

There was a short pause. She continued,

“I leave the television on at night when I go to bed… At first I though it would lull me to sleep. I was correct. I’m so afraid to be left alone with my own thoughts and this piece of machinery is sometimes the only friend I have… I’m dying slowly and I’m pretty sure I’m not enjoying the whole journey.”

After hearing this I had to sit down. It was too much for me. This girl was telling me her life story. She needed help… or so I thought.

I closed my eyes and suddenly I found myself in a desert, at night. I was in the middle of nowhere. Out of thin air, a living room appeared. One family couch, two love seats and a leather recliner. The place was furnished with a big Persian rug.

“Amazing” – I said to myself, completely perplexed at the site. The stars at this place seemed alive. This desert were I found myself was miles away from any human congregation. Because of this, the sky seemed to be thriving with life.

I focused my eyes on the seats and Will appeared out of thin air. He was sitting on one of the love seats. My great aunt Gina was sitting on the leather recliner. I sat down on the couch. No one said a word. After a while, I lit a cigarette and yawned. After I let out my first cloud of smoke, Aunt Gina said calmly, “Another lost, televised soul of middle class America.”

I opened my eyes and found myself in my living room. On the other side of the receiver I heard a voice that said a simple “Hello, are you still there?” It took me a couple of second to realize that I was still talking to her. I urged her to continue her story. This is just what I needed to hear right now, someone else’s problems. This would at least help me forget mine for a while.

“I’m sick of eating all these pain-killers everyday. I have become addicted to them. Everything turns to shit when I don’t have those chemicals in my body. When I’m on pills everything works out great, I don’t feel a thing and it helps me to concentrate on my job. I’m a postal clerk. It’s a pretty good job but basically you have to be a machine to be able to keep up with it. There’s too much shit going around, so many letters that need to be sent to different places. Packages filled with thoughts, feelings and emotions from so many individuals. Basically, the Post Office is a place with too much stuff happening around. They need robots there, not people… and that’s what I’ve become.”

“Interesting” – I said back at her. Here I was, talking to another victim of society. This woman was straight up another freak of nature. “What’s your name?” – I asked, while yawning.

“I’m Rita” – She replied in a fast manner, like a gazelle, or maybe a deer. “What’s yours?”

“Benedict” – I lied. Well come on, this could be anyone talking to me right now… I wasn’t going to give her my real name. After all, I was a man who believed in discreetness.

Rita continued talking for about another half hour. This conversation was taking too much of my own, precious time. I told her I had to hang up because I had to do some stuff for work (another lie again… I’m unemployed and have been for a while). Before we hung up I told her that she could call me back anytime, that she shouldn’t hesitate in giving me a call when she needed someone to talk to.

As I hung up, I heard that someone came in from the backdoor. Will grunted as a bear when he came in the living room. “I told you to come in through the front” – I said to him.

“Hey man, I think I have the right to come in through the back. I’m your favorite neighbor and you know it” – Will said, flashing his white set of teeth at me.

“You’re the only neighbor I know” – I said.

He shook his head slowly. Will had left earlier to get some alcohol. I told him to get some vodka. Instead, he got some Jaggermeister.

I rolled my eyes. “Will… You know that I don’t drink that” – I said slowly to him.

“I’m aware of that. You are drinking this tonight though” - He said back, imitating my slow talking.

Of course I gave in. Alcohol is like candy to me, irresistible. It’s just that some candies, even though delicious, make you go crazy.

As Will prepared the drinks with some Red bull, I proceeded in telling him the story about Rita. He wasn’t listening… he never was. Will nodded and sometimes said “wow” with an uninterested tone. He handed me my drink. I sighed. Jaggermeister had something in it that didn’t mix well with my body. It set off a violent spot in me.

“What’s this bullshit?” – Will said as he approached my record player. He turned off the beautiful Godspeed You! Black Emperor, and put some Black Flag on. If you’ve heard these two bands you may well know that this is a major shift in music. Post-Rock to eighties Hardcore Punk. The atmosphere in the room didn’t change, as both bands are still depressing. Depressing but beautiful…

I yawned and stretched while Will sat down on the couch. The drink tasted sweet. “Perfectly ironic for the moment.” – I thought.

“Hey man, do you have some Doritos?” – He asked.

I nodded… my concentration was being used in reading the mail. “A letter from my mom” – I said back to Will. “Bring me a lighter, will ya?”

He came back from the kitchen with a huge Doritos bag on his left hand and the lighter on the other one.

I smiled as I set the letter on fire. I put it on the ashtray as the fire ate the whole thing. “I’m not even going to bother in reading that.”

Will looked at me… he was worried. He offered me some Doritos. I wasn’t hungry at all. The caffeine in the red bull was wiring me up.

This whole drink was always a BAD idea. Too much sugar, too much caffeine, too much alcohol; it was a complete time bomb. I’m a risk taker though… I chugged the fucker down.

Suddenly, the whole room got cold. The living room became really bright and the music was really loud. I started breathing hard and getting anxious. No, it wasn’t the alcohol, I sometimes get panic attacks.

“I’ve had enough of this Black Flag shit!” – I yelled at Will, who was still mulching down the Doritos.

He gave me the “I don’t give a shit” glance and continued eating.

“Fuck you, man… FUCK YOU” – I yelled at him. His drink was empty. He slowly grabbed my drink, and without breaking eye contact, got up. He turned towards the kitchen and disappeared into it. The phone rang while I was in the living room. Will took the liberty to answer the phone. All the way from the kitchen, he yelled at me, “Hey, a woman called Rita is looking for a dude called Benedict, she’s sure she has the right phone number” – Will said.

“You imbecile! Tell her I’ll be right there!” – I yelled at him. I got up and rushed to the kitchen.

“Calm down man…” – Will said as he gave me the phone. He gave me my drink and left the kitchen. I could hear that he turned on the television in the living room.

“Yes?” – I said.

“Ben? Benedict, is that you?” – Rita said, with a certain air of despair in her voice.

“Ummm… yes…” – I said while I savored my new drink.

“My boyfriend is hitting me… he’s been drinking heavily for a few hours now. He got really angry when the gin ran out” – Rita said, her voice breaking over the phone a little bit.

“What’s your address there?” – I said to her.

“2550 North Henry Road. Hurry up; I’m locked in my car, in the garage.” – She said to me.

“We’ll be right there” - Now these words I said slowly. I wanted to assure her this fact as I had a plan.

I hung up, took a drink, grabbed the fifth and told Will that we needed to go.

“Sure…” – Will stood up, putting on his coat. He looked at the floor for a few second and then looked up,

“Where are we going man?”

Ignoring his question, I said,

“Bring the rope.”

Before heading out I put on the television on an empty channel. After getting the volume as loud as it went, we headed out. Gorgeous static embraced my whole house. You tell me, who would break into a house like that? Only a crazy individual would. In that case, I would allow this deranged person to take all my possessions. Crazy person usually put stuff to good use.

I got in the car and waited for Will to get in. He was outside on my front yard, staring blankly into space. I rolled down the window and said to him, “Snap out of it boy.”

I proceeded to light a ‘cig. The lighter’s flame was bright… it was dangerous and sexy at the same time. Its hotness completely intoxicated me.

“Can I bum one off of you?”- Will broke the silence from the back seat. I didn’t hear the car door open. This frightened me and made me jump in my seat. I hated Will when he surprised me like that.

On the way Will didn’t ask any questions. The inside of the car was quiet. It wasn’t an awkward silence. It was alright to have silence sometimes. Silence didn’t make me feel lonely. I always felt this way about silence… it made me feel safe. My interaction with Will didn’t change this feeling. I never felt that my ideas ever made much sense to him. If they did, he didn’t seem to care.

“Animals”- I said as we crossed the mall.

“Consumerism makes me want to puke” – Will said.

“Vanilla Ice-Cream” – I said loudly.

“Billy Boy eats at McDonalds and buys at Wal-Mart. He loves to keep it real. Mommy never told him about the chinks in the sweatshops that suffer day and night to keep him happy & plump…” –Will said with the cigarette in his mouth.

As we got to Henry road I began to remember a few social events I attended here. These parties would be at one of those big apartment complexes. The vast majority of people here would usually be really loud and obnoxious. The music would be noisy, the apartment would be completely crowded and the people would be too drunk. The only conversations that they would engage in, if they did, would be about four things:

1. Sports
2. Television
3. Commercial Music
4. Sexually oriented topics

As I didn’t like any competitive sports, watched television or listened to radio, socialization proved to be quite difficult. I would usually end up drinking and smiling like an idiot. This got old and boring quite fast.

“That place sucks. How can anyone sane live there?” – Will said, staring coldly at the dead, concrete jungle.

“I’m not sure man…” I said back to him. I really wasn’t.

We found 2550 in about five minutes. The place looked nice outside. Freshly mowed lawn and some pink flamingos stuck on the front yard. “Sweet” – I thought. Rita’s house seemed quite welcoming, as a matter of fact; her house reminded me of the Candy Witch’s house from the kid story, Hansel and Grettel. Small and pretty.

Will didn’t understand why we parked on front of the house. “Another sign that he’s never paying attention” – I thought. He was wondering what we were going to do with a fifth of Jaggermeister and some rope. I told him that he should keep his mouth shut and that maybe he should wait in the car.

I got out of the vehicle with the fifth in hand. Will stared at me from the inside of the car. His eyes resembled those of a calf, innocent and beautiful. I ignored this and proceeded to make my way to the front door. After taking a deep breath I knocked three times.

At first, no one came to the door. I thought about Rita while I waited there, she’s probably asleep in her car at this moment. Or maybe not… maybe she’s really scared in there… waiting for me to save the day. At last someone came to the door.

I was received by a medium sized man, with a badly shaven beard. The buttoned shirt he was wearing was dirty. “So this is Tim” – I thought.

“Who the fuck are you?” – He said to me.

“I’m friends of Rita, she invited me over for a drink” – I showed Tim the bottle I was holding. He smiled and said,

“Nice to meet you man, I’m Tim.”

“I know…” – I said as I stepped in. I turned around to see if Will was still in the car waiting for me. He wasn’t there. “The fucker probably got bored and ditched me” – I thought.

Rita’s house was lovely. It was small but that didn’t matter to me. We sat down on the living room and began drinking. Tim was nice as hell. I was getting along with him quite well. That is until I asked her about his girlfriend. His face changed completely.

“That whore… she’s been saying she wants to leave me” – Tim said while shaking his head. I decided to change the subject… the alcohol was already gone and I needed some more. That bitch Rita could wait. I was really having fun talking to this woman beater. Convinced that ingesting more alcohol would result in other interesting conversations, I asked him if he wanted to come with me to the liquor store. He told me that he was running low on cash and that he wouldn’t be able to pay for anything though.

“That’s fine” – I told him. “Tonight’s on me.”

On the way to the liquor store Tim asked me the usual questions. How did I know her girlfriend and what did I do for a living. I lied both times. I told him that I met Rita at yoga club back in college, we ran into each other at the mall the other day. I supposedly worked at the dog pound, in charge of euthanizing the dogs and cats. “You make me wanna puke” – He must’ve thought.

“Here’s fifteen bucks, surprise me.” – I handed Tim over the money while parking the car. “I’m going to stay here and smoke a ‘cig.” Tim, who was majoring in alcoholism, liked the idea of buying the booze by himself. He nodded back at me with a certain smile and got out of the car.

“Ain’t he a cutie” – I jumped on my seat, completely frightened by Will’s voice. I turned back and found him sitting on the back seat. “How the hell did you get here!?” – I yelled back at him. This was a little bit weird for me because I was a hundred percent sure he had left earlier.

“I was taking a nap in this here seat; it’s been like what… three hours since we left your place?” – He said.

“I’m not really sure; I don’t keep a watch.” My reply was honest at least. Time has been moving slowly for me for years now… An hour always felt like an eternity and a whole breath seemed to last forever. I knew Will was hiding something from me, I could feel it in my gut. He’s the typical individual that loves to keep secrets.

Before he could ask for a cigarette, as he usually did, I offered him one. He said he didn’t feel like smoking a whole cigarette at once, it was too much nicotine for him to handle at the moment. He wanted to share the cigarette I was smoking. Of course I said no! For starters, sharing cigarettes isn’t my thing; there are diseases that can spread that way. And plus, Will functions in strange ways. The day I offer him a cigarette is the day he wants to share one. Crazy bastard.

Tim came back with a bottle of whisky. The phrase “Bad Choice” popped in my head. I opened the bottle and took a sip of it. To me, whisky tastes how wood smells. It’s only in rare occasions that drinking wood sounds like a good idea. Tonight wasn’t. He took a sip of the bottle once I handed it back to him. Tim didn’t notice Will, who was being silent at the backseat.

No one in the car was expecting to see Rita’s house in the state we found it when we came back. People were gathering on the road to see the whole spectacle. The house was on fire, it was the event of Henry Road for the night. The majority of the people watching Tim’s possessions being burned to the ground were college students. Drunken college students. Firefighters were running all over the place with their hoses and their asbestos suits. Policemen were trying to control the crowd, who in their drunken state, wanted to go into to the house and steal whatever they could find.

I noticed that the garage door was completely torn apart. The car was missing.

Tim started panicking; he couldn’t comprehend the whole situation. Two fat policemen tackled him down when he rushed through the crowd and tried to get into his burning house. On the ground and defeated, he started crying. He explained to the cops that his girlfriend Rita was somewhere in the house, that they needed to look for her.

That’s when I got in my car and left the scene. Will told me that the rope was missing. “You must’ve been asleep when someone grabbed it” - I said. No damage was done though; I didn’t have an emotional attachment for this piece of string.

Rita was gone. That’s what I read in the papers next day. 911 receives a call from the burning house, the woman on the other side of the phone tells operator that her house is on fire... after that, she hangs up. Firefighters found the garage door to be torn apart, no Rita or car found on the site.

After a few days of sleeping and trying to forget that life moved on outside the walls I called home, the phone rang. “Hey what’s up, it’s me, Rita. I’m in Reno right now, I love it over here. Gambling is good for my self esteem. Tim committed suicide, did you hear about it?”

“No, I’ve only been reading the economy side of the newspaper for the past few days. What happened?”

“Well, I called him and told him that I would be away for a while. That he shouldn’t look for me. I needed my space and some time away from everything. My life wasn’t working out and our relationship sucked. He was drunk as always, at his parent’s house. He told me he loved me and that he needed me. Eventually the sweet talk turned violent. Tim told me I was an evil son of a bitch for burning all our possession down. I told him to fuck off and hung up the phone.” She paused for a second to get a few breaths and then went on,

“My best friend, Carole, gave me a call a few hours later. She asked me if I was sitting down. I lied, of course, at the moment I was playing roulette at a casino. Tim had been found dead in his dad’s tool shed; he hung himself with a rope. Someone had written all over it the same set of four letters, W-I-L-L.”

“Interesting” – I said.

“Yeah… the weird thing is that I don’t feel bad at all. I’m actually kind of glad that he’s gone… I need to go though, the bathtub is full already and Michael, the bellboy, who I found quite attractive, is waiting for me in it.”

I told her that I was happy for her, which was, of course, another lie. In reality I didn’t give a shit. We hung up afterwards. After telling Will what happened I got into bed and fell asleep. Aunt Gina woke me up at the desert, a few hours later. “Champagne and cocktails for everyone” - Will said while he handed Tim a cigar. I smiled because for a mere second I felt complete… alive… full.

Y con la fuerza de un tren, me paso por encima.

Y con la fuerza de un tren, me paso por encima.

Por: G2

Sus ojos nublan la escena por completo. El bar parece desaparecer cuando ella me vuelve a ver directamente. Me mata cuando no puedo establecer contacto con sus ojos por más de diez segundos. Todo se vuelve demasiado difícil de soportar, soy el que pierdo en esta pelea de miradas.

Ella es el tipo de mujer que siempre busca más. Ella es el tipo de ser humano que siempre quiere comprender más. Las situaciones más simples parece comprenderlas. Estuvimos conversando por horas, escondidos, tratando de establecer varios parámetros. No existió conversación normal. Nunca lo fue, siempre todo de lo que hablamos fue súper interesante. Ahí mismo fue cuando sentí que talvez no seria tan malo brincar y salir de las atmósfera… ya que siempre he querido que me trague la tierra.

Nunca creí en muchas cosas, sin embargo, en este momento creo en todo. Estoy convencido que es saludable poder compartir mas tiempo con este ser humano. Es saludable, para los dos, poder relacionarnos de manera intelectual. Posee un vasto conocimiento musical. Me parecieron interesantes varios puntos que planteo. No solo me parecieron factibles, sino que estos me interesaron ya que es una manera diferente de ver las cosas. Sentí, en ese momento, una atracción por ella. Esta atracción, raramente, no suele ser corporal.

Dice la gente que esta muchacha es súper atractiva. Atracción sexual hacia ella existe… pero poca. Me fascina su poder intelectual. Esta noche ella presento una faceta de su personalidad que resulto ser fascinante. No se si es que estoy madurando o simplemente es que me repugna la superficialidad. Quiero dejar de ser hipócrita conmigo mismo, siempre me ha dado cierto asco la superficialidad. Me vuelve loco el intelecto humano y la capacidad del pensamiento.

Quiero ser sumamente ordinario. Dedicarle canciones que dicen un mensaje completamente pretencioso y difícil de entender. Se que ella va a poder entender todo el mensaje que quiero hacer llegar… y si por alguna razón no entiende, podría explicarle mi punto de vista sin ningún problema.

Básicamente, dejándome de jugar de sabelotodo, el mensaje que quiero hacer llegar aquí es que ella es lo mejor. Si pudiera describir con una palabra como ella me hace sentir, esa simplemente seria “bien.” Talvez ocupo una mujer así en mi vida. No estoy seguro, en cosas de mujeres nunca lo estoy. Sin embargo, me intereso lo que ella tuvo para ofrecer. Ideas exquisitas sobre la personalidad humana y música.

Particularmente me intereso su punto de vista acerca de las personalidades de un individuo. Estuvimos conversando con detenimiento sobre como la personalidad de una persona cambia de manera considerable cuando tiene estupefacientes en su cuerpo. De acorde al estupefaciente, la personalidad del individuo suele cambiar notablemente. Esto causo risa en los dos. Muchísima risa.

Espero poder conocerla más. Porque entre todo esta montaña de perdedores ella parece ser la perdedora numero uno. La perfecta reina de todos los desaparecidos de la noche. Ella es la mujer que esta a cargo de la situación. A lo mejor eso es lo que ocupa un hombre salvaje y necio como yo. Autoridad.

PIDGINES -Noticias-

Noticias

Saludos Soldados,

Aqui Gabro Pidgin informando la situacion actual del grupo. Cada miembro de Pidgines ha estado ocupado con diferentes proyectos musicales o intelectuales. Lamentablemente, por cuestiones de tiempo, Tilio Pidgin no va a poder volver a los escenarios este diciembre. El esta conciente que no llegara a tiempo para poder ponerse en forma (ademas no habra tiempo para organizar chivo en esas epocas...).

Despues de haberlo pensado bastante, hemos considerado que es necesario y saludable para el grupo el hecho de seguir componiendo (Tilio Pidgin definitivamente regresara con nosotros en un futuro). J.A. Pidgin y yo hemos estado considerando varias ideas que queremos implementar.

Estuve hablando con Alberto de Señorita Maestra, le pregunte que si podria ayudarnos en diciembre a tocar. Sin pensarlo dos veces me dijo que si. Alberto pasara a ser por un mes Albi Pidgin. Volviendo a las conversaciones de J.A. y yo. Hemos decidido entrar al estudio en diciembre o enero a grabar material. Esto significara que Albi estara grabando con nosotros y ademas prestando vocales.

Fabro Pidgin se encuentra optimista y con ganas de tocar. Hemos estado hablando sobre el futuro del grupo y parecio parecerle bien.

Por otros lados, la cancion, "(A Estebitan) Le Duele La Cabeza" estara saliendo en una compilacion de la disquera californiana Cabana 1. Esta disquera la corren la maravillosa Alma y su jefe, Juan. Estara saliendo por ahi de Enero 2007, ahi mas detalles luego.

Estaremos en contacto,

Gabro Pidgin

1044. Music for the modErN EaR